When you live with PTSD, or any anxiety disorder, you know to be ready for an episode any day, any time. Symptoms can range from mild to severe; an episode could mean heightened awareness of other people’s micro-expressions, or it could mean a full-on, totally debilitating panic attack. Anxiety does not wait. It doesn’t care where you are, who you’re with, or what you need to do.
As a mother living with mental illness and an anxiety disorder, I have an intimate knowledge of the disruption which anxiety can wreak upon daily living. But all of us mothers, hyperanxious or not, know that we don’t get ‘sick days.’ Our days off are never really days off. We can’t triage extended self care into our schedules, no matter how much we need it.
Having been in and out of talk therapy (primarily Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the modality discussed here) for the last decade, I can honestly say that I have noticed a difference in my depression and anxiety when I have an active mindfulness practice. Sometimes the differences are more profound than when I’m active with a therapist.
Mindfulness tackles a lot of the same things that good therapy does, in my experience. It encourages me to be positive, be present, and let my sadness about the past, and my worries about the future, go. During meditation practice, I sometimes receive insights, ideas, and inspiration, just like I do in a great therapy session.
The abuse which caused my PTSD was prolonged and severe. The symptoms, therefore, likewise. Living in New York we deal with year round season extremes. We get very hot summers and very cold winters. Our spring and fall seasons are either filled with rain or a mixture of freezing mornings, blistering afternoons, and chilly evenings. As a result I spend a lot of time indoors with my daughter. Don’t worry, she gets lots of physical activity at daycare, and I do make a special effort to go out when the weather is nice. My daughter is a huge fan of the park. The truth is, however, that a lot of our time together is spent indoors, and that I spend a lot of it trying to covertly treat my anxiety. As a result, I have created an arsenal of simple, kid-friendly indoor activities that also provide secret opportunities for mindfulness and other forms of de-stressing.
Mindfulness meditation practice couldn’t be simpler: take a good seat, pay attention to the breath, and when your attention wanders, return. By following these simple steps, you can get to know yourself up close and personal.
survivingmotherhood545.wordpress.com 